652 Days...

On May 25, 2009

I was given a glimmer of hope.

A very faint positive pregnancy test.

The first [REAL] one that had come back positive

I knew it wasn't the last time I would face infertility

But I thought that I could ignore it for awhile

I tried and did quite well.

I enjoyed my typical pregnancy.

Spent hours snuggling my daughter

And now chase her everywhere.

Since that bright morning in May, I had almost forgotten the hurt and despair that accompanied infertility.

Well...

almost.

But it's interesting how all of those feelings come flooding back to you.

Especially when you're told that you are having a miscarriage.

And now, I remember all too well.

I have a hard time having babies.

Split Persona!

Ok! So I feel like I need to own up to myself and stop being embarrassed of this part of myself

It's silly because I feel like i should help others who may be struggling with infertility

So friends (all one of you who may/may not read this)

I'm doing the whole "merging blogs" thing for now

Hopefully I can stay true to all of myself in my other blog.

Here's the address: the DK Crew

See you on the Flip side!

Oh taxes...

Did you know that the following things are tax deductible?

Pregnancy tests

Birth Control

Fertility Enhancement! (YES)

Unfortunately the following is NOT tax decuctible:

Costs of Adoption

Even worse, the following IS tax decuctible:

Costs of Abortion

Something is wrong with this picture.

We should alert lawmakers.

Hopefully in the future, I will be writing a blog post and those two will be switched!

Oh taxes...

I couldn't have said it better myself...

This really spoke to my heart...

Thank You!

My least favorite word...

Relax

I hate it.

I hate how people have used it against me.

But they think they're doing me a favor.

While trying to conceive, we would always hear,

"You just have to relax and it will happen."

Then while I was pregnant,

"You need to relax or you're going to hurt your baby with stress."

Then while I was in labor,

"You need to relax so it won't hurt." (Pfft!)

Then while I was learning how to nurse,

"You should relax so the milk will come in to feed your baby."

Then when people were being intrusive,

"You need to relax because you're being overprotective."

And now that things have settled down a little bit,

"You really need to relax so people don't think that you're a crazy mom."

I hate that word.

Really

Really

hate that word.

*Just so you know, none of these statements came from my doctor*

And contrary to the picture that this paints, I'm not a stress case.

I'm actually quite fun!

And I like boardgames.

and long walks on the beach ;)

Hmmm...

We should all consider getting this shirt....

Here's a close-up

Music

I love music. Some songs can bring me out of my lowest lows and help me express my highest highs. I love this one!

This song is from a musical by Jason Robert Brown called "Songs for a New World".

It reminds me to trust my Savior during the hard times. He's made promises to comfort each of us.

If you have time, listen to the whole song, there's a link on the player.