Babies, Babies Everywhere...

but none for me to hold.  The past few weeks has been tough. I feel like I've been bombarded with babies. During the past two weeks, I received three baby shower invitations and I am expecting one more in the mail. I finally decided to say, "no" to one of them. Each time I go to one of these events, I come home feeling like it will never be my turn. Sorry if I'm a little mopey right now. I think I'm a little hungry... I didn't eat breakfast.

Confession Time...

It's no surprise when I say that my body needs help doing what a "normal" woman's would. You're probably thinking, "Duh! That's why you started this blog, Genius!" 

So when I tell you that I get HCG shots to trigger ovulation each month, we should all be on the same page. Once my follicle(s) are developed enough, I get a shot in the bum! Following that, I should refrain from taking any pregnancy tests for 2 weeks in order to avoid receiving a false positive... should. Therein lies the first part of my confession. I like to take pregnancy tests while the HCG is in my system. I just want to know how it feels to get a positive result!! 

Much to my financially aware husband's dismay, the tests are SOOO expensive. A dear friend introduced me to a well-kept but useful secret: eBay! It's true! In order to feed my irrational wants, I buy pregnancy tests in bulk on eBay! That's the second part of my confession. Instead of paying $10-15 bucks for one or two tests, I can buy several. 

So you’re probably thinking, “She must go through 20 tests a month.” The truth is that I could if left to my own devices. But once again, my dear husband attempts to bring me back to reality. Back in January, he told me that I needed to promise to stop this nonsense (the wasting-pregnancy-tests nonsense, not the saving-$$-on-eBay part). He suggested a paper chain may help my patience. So I went to the store, bought construction paper and made one… but I may have still slipped one test in there before it was done.

But don’t tell. He may hide my “supply” this next cycle if he ever reads this. SSHHH! By the way, anyone have any suggestions on colors for this next paper chain? 

Ye-OWCH!

SO...one of the last times that I went to the doctor, he performed an IUI. Everything was going well though I have to admit that I HATE those metal torture devices (I'll call them MTDs) that they use to "open you up." You know what talking about! I would post a picture but that would be gross. I don't know why I disliked them so much until that day.

Like I said, everything was going as planned and the procedure was over quickly. So my doctor closed the torture device and started taking it out. Then I felt this terrible PINCH! I think that I screamed, "Woah, that hurts!" Apparently, the MTD was closed too quickly and it pinched me. Ugh! It took me several minutes to subdue to tears and realize the humor in it all. Now my husband and I just laugh over it!

Has that happened to anyone else or am I just a lone duck over here?

"I can do hard things..."

Liberty Jail. Photo Courtesy of  LDS.org

Today's testimony meeting seemed to be directed toward me. One brother talked about trials and how he finds comfort in knowing that he "can do hard things."

It reminded me of Elder Wirthlin's talk, "Come What May, and Love it". 

I understand the "Come What May" part but the "Love It" is kind of a stretch, don't you think?

I reread the talk this morning and found some wonderful counsel. Elder Wirthlin was completely right.

My favorite part of the talk is when Elder Wirthlin encourages us to "Seek For the Eternal" and avoid asking, "Why Me?"

He says: 

But the dial on the wheel of sorrow eventually points to each of us. At one time or another, everyone must experience sorrow. No one is exempt.

I love the scriptures because they show examples of great and noble men and women such as Abraham, Sarah, Enoch, Moses, Joseph, Emma, and Brigham. Each of them experienced adversity and sorrow that tried, fortified, and refined their characters.

Learning to endure times of disappointment, suffering, and sorrow is part of our on-the-job training. These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are precisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character, and increase our compassion for others.

Because Jesus Christ suffered greatly, He understands our suffering. He understands our grief. We experience hard things so that we too may have increased compassion and understanding for others.

Remember the sublime words of the Savior to the Prophet Joseph Smith when he suffered with his companions in the smothering darkness of Liberty Jail: “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.” 

My foe isn't a person.

Mine is a foe of infertility.

But I can do it.

I'm still learning.

I haven't got it right yet.

I can do hard things.

And I can do this!